Super Bowl

Prologue:

Near the end of the Super Bowl, Pete Carroll resembled the little grey-haired man in the Fiat commercial that aired during the game. He wore a huge smile on his face, and rubbed his hands on his knees, anticipating when his little blue pill would kick in.

Before that, it was pretty much all chickens n waffles in bed for the Seahawks as well. Sure, they sputtered out the gate and spotted a touchdown to the Patriots after a Spy-versus-Spygate first quarter. In fact, the Patriots dominated the Seahawks in the first half, but halftime arrived with Richey Rich Pete Carroll straddling Bill Belichick, raining punches down on his nose and demanding the bully return his lunch money, which he did, for a 14-14 halftime score.

After halftime, not only did Belichick give Pete Carroll back his money, but he allowed his own cohorts to practically toss away the entire game as well. The 12^th Man, with help from the team they cheer for, took over the game and swamped the USS Patriot, taking a 24-14 lead in the third quarter.

However, before Al Michaels and Chris Colinsworth could chortle out facts about how few teams in Super Bowl history had ever overcome a deficit of ten points in the third quarter to go on and win the game, the Patriots scored two unanswered touchdowns, the latter with barely two minutes on the clock.

With the season practically over, Wilson and the Seahawks got the ball back one last time. They bounded from their own 20, down to the Patriot’s one-yard line with the same great grabs of real estate that raptors make when chasing down children in creepy movies. All the Seahawks had to do was jab their running back jab into the line three times and then go home as repeat champions.

Pete Carroll was smiling. Bent down, hands on knees in anticipation of the victory. He looked like an eager Italian man about to shake a little blue pill into his hand.

However, at the end of the Super Bowl, Pete Carroll fumbled the pill away, and a spunky rookie for the Patriots gulped that little tab down and it led to swollen crowds in the chowd-filled streets of Boston. Carroll’s anticipatory smile froze, then drooped, and finally collapsed, leaving him with the same expression of the frustrated woman in the ad.

Epilogue:

Tom Brady received a huge, red Ford Pickup truck after the game. The Seahawks piled into an old Ford Fiesta and puttered back home. The car seemed to wither, rather than bulge. Its 12^th Man flag faltered for a moment, before being torn away by a howling apathy.